Thursday, February 4, 2010

All Out Of Serious

Here they are: Cards for the Public-Defender Occasion.  Print your own, and then save your weary breath from answering all of those worn-out questions!

How they try to dash our plea-bargain dreams with their pesky "policies," such as: "The Prosecuting Attorney's Office has a Policy to Oppose Anything You Want."  Fear not, for we can make our own policies in opposition to their policies, which, by policy, opposes nothing.

I love most of my public-defender friends, even the ones I want to frigging kill.  You know the guy--the one who just won't stop talking, even when 50 other lawyers are waiting in court, and a simple "Yep!" would suffice? I suggest discretely handing him one of these cards while he is still at the lectern.

This is what public-defender dreams are made of:

The police are like the mean girls in high school:  they only want to talk to you now in order to mock you later.

One of the hardest things to learn is to stop spilling your guts to the prosecutor about what is wrong with his case.  I used to say this little speech to every new prosecutor, and then I'd give the new guy one chance by telling him what was wrong with his case, and then he would proceed to screw me with the information I had just given him.  I've had one guy pass this test in 16 years, so now I don't bother.  But go ahead and try--you probably won't be able to help yourself for the first 10 years, anyway.

I should receive some kind of Peace and Justice award for making this next card.  It will save lives.  And stop me from killing people who I would ordinarily like just fine.

Below are the templates to print your own cards.  You can use standard double-sided Avery cards, plain paper, or whatever.  Just click to enlarge and then print.  If you email me, I will send you the document in Word format, but you might not get it until the weekend, because I am having a freaking crazy week.


Pedantic Contrarian said...

just wanted to say I think what your doing is awesome, and I'm glad there are people like you doing this work, both as a PD and the blog stuff. I'll join PDR and Yep We Can the second I'm sworn in.. so, ah, in about three years.

Keep fighting the good fight! You've inspired at least one PD-wanna be (all the way in FL too).

carol d said...

Thanks Pedantic--I am so grateful that you like the blog--it also terrifies me a little--like, wait! I wasn't recruiting or anything. But maybe I was. Of course I was.

You can join the PDR facebook group (link on the main page) I ask people if they are a "PD or something similar," to which some jack-ass lawyer types (kidding!) ask, What is something similar? Is anything similar? Similar just means sharing similar values or mainly, not a cop or prosecutor.

alex said...

These cards are hilarious!!!! You have the courage to write what I have been thinking but were afraid to say for years. I am recommending this blog to all my fellow defense lawyers in Texas.