Got Guilt?

A couple of years ago, I attended a criminal-defense CLE—I don’t remember where or what it was about, or even who the speaker was, but one woman’s comment during a discussion period still resonates:

“I used to be a public defender,” she said,” and all I did was run around with too much to do, feeling guilty all the time.”

Wait, what did she say? Feeling guilty all the time?

But … you mean … It’s not just me?

I remember the waves of relief that washed over me. Until the woman’s comment, I hadn’t registered the constant guilt I felt—about the things I couldn’t get done in a day, the phone calls I hadn’t returned, the client I couldn’t help, the judges’ badmouthing of me behind my back, the constant criticism from prosecutors, the inability to be in two places at one time--and how much that unexamined guilt was abasing me.